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Lindsay Lohan’s Ankle Monitor Went Off

''Must.. jam.. butter knife.. in.. green.. wire..”
So, remember last year when Lindsay Lohan had to wear a SCRAM device and it went off every five minutes because she’s a fucking idiot? You’ll never believe how things are going with her house arrest. Via The LA Times:

"The “Mean Girls” actress is required to wear an ankle monitoring device that randomly checks via a base unit that she is within the premises of her home. Law enforcement sources told The Times that her monitoring unit went off Tuesday, though it’s unclear why.
Steve Honig, a spokesman for the actress, said in a statement to the Times, “They came as part of standard procedure to make sure the monitoring equipment was working properly.”

For the record, Lindsay’s house arrest is probably the biggest joke in the history of law considering she’s allowed to have however many visitors she wants whenever she likes, and she doesn’t even to have to take drug tests. So, of course, she’s going to try and leave after barely two weeks, and then blame it on faulty equipment. And has anyone noticed how Lindsay always seems to get the shittiest monitoring device available? Seriously, it’s only a matter of time until she starts telling people her anklet’s secretly a teleportation device because the judge is out to get her. “I swear to God, I was just sitting in my room quietly writing poetry about the beauty of sobriety and BAM! Suddenly, I’m at Marmont trying to stop this stupid anklet from ordering the vodka I like. It’s so unfair!”

Lindsay Lohan

Lindsay Lohan Wore a Bikini Again, Guess What Happened

Lindsay Lohan in Miami. (May 23, 2011)

"Oh, no, right in the front of the paparazzi! It’s like I’m doing this on purpose…”

As Lindsay Lohan watched the press roll in yesterday from her weekend of flashing the world, she conveniently had another wardrobe malfunction, and here we are because the Internet runs on boobs. Of course, some might say it’s an innocent accident, while others of a more handsome nature will say it’s to distract from the fact she was also photographed holding a bottle of pills and there’s no explaining that one away. That’d be like seeing Charlie Sheen with a pile white powder and trying to convince someone it’s baking soda. “He’s probably just cooking snickerdoodles. Warm, delicious snickerdoodles. In his nose.”
 

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  "Oh, no, right in the front of the paparazzi! It’s like I’m doing this on purpose…”

 Here’s the clean and sober Lindsay outside a Manhattan club last night, and I don’t know how else to describe what’s happening here without going, “Wow, that chick’s snorting coke.” Granted, she might just be spectacularly drunk, so I should at least give Lindsay the benefit of the doubt that she didn’t blatantly violate her probation by ingesting drugs off a New York City sidewalk. For all I know, she set out that night to get illegally drunk in the most discrete way possible. “Only small, dainty nips from the boot flask,” she probably wrote in her diary next to a drawing of Samantha Ronson with an ice pick in her face as tiny hearts shoot out of the wound. “Sigh… will she ever propose?”

Lindsay Lohan in front Japanese restaurant in Manhattan. (March 30, 2011)

Lindsay Lohan -- 'I Support The Judge's Decision'

No doubt Lindsay Lohan supports what the judge said today in her sentencing because it really turned out "best case scenario" for the actress.                                        

Lohan just released a statement saying, "I am glad to be able to put this past me and move on with my life and my career. I support the judge's decision and hold myself accountable for being in this situation."

Lohan added, "I have already started my community service at the Downtown Women's Center and thank everyone there for their warm welcome.

She concluded, "I hope to be able to fulfill my obligation without any press attention. I think the media spotlight should be on issues such as homelessness and domestic violence instead of on me."

Judge Stephanie Sautner gave Lohan 120 days in jail -- that's the sentence for her probation violation ... so Lindsay won't do additional time for the theft.

And TMZ has learned the Sheriff's Department will probably let LiLo do her time at home with an electronic monitoring device -- and she'll only have to stay there for 14 days.

Lohan's attorney, Shawn Holley, tells TMZ, "Lindsay and I would both like to thank Judge Sautner and the L.A. City Attorney's Office for their fair handling of this case."

Onward, and hopefully, upward.

Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan in Hollywood

In This Photo: Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan

Paris Hilton and Britney Spears spend another night out on the town. They started their Sunday evening at "Guy's" nightclub in West Hollywood and stayed til closing. Afterwards they went to a bungalow at the Beverly Hills Hotel where Brandon Davis was throwing a party. Lindsay Lohan also attended and reconciled with with former nemesis Paris. The three then drove to Paris' home and spent the night. NO PANTY SHOTS ARE EXCLUSIVE.

(November 27, 2006 - Photo by Bauer Griffin)

Lindsay Lohan: No “Late Show” Gig (Photo)

We made a mistake.Some claimed to be a friend of Lindsay's reached out to the show yesterday, apparently on her behalf, and booked her to appear. It is obvious that this person was not authorized to enter into commitments on her behalf"Tom Keaney, spokesman for Letterman's production company, Worldwide Pants, said in a statement

Lindsay Lohan, Hot Lindsay Lohan, Pictures, Pics, Photos & Images

Date of Birth2 July 1986, New York City, New York, USABirth NameLindsay Dee LohanNicknameLindsLa LohanHeight5' 5" (1.65 m)Lindsay Dee Lohan is very hot and sexy actress in whole hollywood. She is a very popular actress in whole world. She looks very beautiful girl as compare wiht other hollywood actress.She began her career at age three as a model at the Eileen Ford Agency, and made appearances

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Lindsay Lohan out and about in Malibu (Photo)

Dressed in a low-cut black top with ragged jean shorts and black boots, hit the "Georgia Rule " actress and some friends a couple of shops, including the celeb-popular Kitson boutique.The sighting comes just TMZ reports that LiLo thinks ex Betty Ford employee Dawn Holland lying to the press in an attempt to push money.The comments come after the Netherlands, has appointed a new lawyer - who

Lindsay Lohan at the LA Lakers Game

Lindsay Lohan is again to give sobriety a shot, and Lindsay Lohan seems to do okay since leaving the Betty Ford Clinic. However, reporting that Lilo was under treatment for "sober mentor" Tom Hardy has proven false. A rep the "first "stud, who has been sober since 2003, told FOX 411," The report is totally wrong. I do not think they know each other. "

Lindsay Lohan out at the gym

Not to let her fitness indsats IS roadside after rehab, Lindsay Lohan was back out for his daily workout in West Hollywood, CA Monday afternoon January 10. Accompanied by her trainer, before the "Mean Girls" star as stylish in the gym equipment as she toted a designer bag at Equinox Gym on weekends borjan sweat session. On Keeping a busy life now, spent again hon a Free Lilo woman the night

Lindsay Lohan leaving a Beverly Hills hair salon

Never so happy to be out of scope of rehab, Lindsay Lohan was all smiles during a Beverly Hills hair salon on Sunday, January 9. The "Georgia Rule" actress looked cute and casual as she had her hair worked on, before setting out his Range Rover ride to continue until this afternoon's agenda.The big plans for the evening is Miss Lohan supposedly all set to join the Los Angeles Lakers and New York

Lindsay Lohan out for sushi in Los Feliz

Keeping travlt as she adjusts her life after rehab, Lindsay Lohan was spotted in Los Feliz, CA Friday afternoon on January 7. Dressed in a black besat motorcykel jacket and black tights, the "Mean Girls" star popped in Taiyo for a sushi forretnings mode sitdown with famous jeweler Pascal Mouawad. Once Faerden sit with meal, Lilo was met entirely out of svaerm of paparazzi when she vovede back to

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